For Men to Remind Themselves on How to Avoid the Biggest Mistake Men Make in Relationships

For men to remind themselves on how to avoid The Biggest Mistake Men Make in Relationships

I believe every one of you really likes to read story about relationship in online internet. Therefore, I will like to take this opportunity to type out an essay story that probably can arouse your interest to a greater extent, for both you and your partner in the relationship. This piece of article is most catered for the men or guys who normally make their mistakes, and this is to serve a great purpose of reminding them how to avoid such mistakes in order to maintain a good healthy relationship with his love partners. I hope you enjoy reading the following article essay story.

“I don’t understand,” said Jerald. “My business is going well. I’m a good provider. I give my wife and the children everything they want. We live in a beautiful house and we drive expensive cars. Last winter I took the whole family on a trip to Mexico. I don’t fool around with other women. I do play golf every Sunday with the guys. But a man needs some recreation. I don’t understand why I seem to do so well at work, but when I come home I feel like a failure!

My wife, Susan, is always nagging me. She either has a headache or is too tired to be sexual. Susan spends outrageous amounts of money at her favourite sport, shopping. That woman finds more things to buy than I or she can ever get to use.
When I met Susan she was slim and attractive. She has put on at least twenty-five pounds and doesn’t seem to take care of herself. Nor does she want to do anything for me. She won’t iron my shirts anymore or get up early enough to make my breakfast. I’m lucky if I get a decent dinner once in a while. I’m sick and tired of not feeling good enough for her. No matter what I do, Susan is not happy. What is even more astonishing for me is my kids are disappointing too. They have so much more than I ever did. Do you think they’re happy and grateful? No way. All they do is whine for more, watch television, or fight with each other. Their grades are nothing to rave about, and I know that they are bright. I talk to the other guys and they seem to have a similar scenario.

When Susan told me that she had called you, Helene, for an appointment I asked her why. She said that she was depressed. I asked Susan to talk to me about her problems but she would not. She told me that I’m not hearing her. I think I do hear Susan. I hear her nag, nag, and nag. Now she has threatened to leave me if I don’t come to therapy too. There is nothing wrong with me. I’m a very successful man. Many people respect and admire me. I want you to know that I’m here but I only came because Susan made me, and I resent it.”

“Jerald,” I replied, “thank you for coming in and sharing all your frustrations. If it is any consolation, I want you to know that I have heard these same complaints hundreds of times before with the many couples I have counselled. You are unique, but your problem is not. You see, Jerald, you probably have been brought up like most men by your parents and society to believe that your role as a husband and as a father is to be the provider. From what you told me, you have learned your job well and are a success.

However, Jerald, a relationship requires much more than financial success. A relationship needs feelings expressed. It is interesting Jerald, that you never mentioned how much you love your wife and children.”

“Of course, I love my family!” Jerald exclaimed. “They know that. I don’t need to keep telling them.”

“Jerald,” I continued, “quite the contrary. They need to hear that you love them and they need to experience your caring by the things you say and do, and not just by what you give to them.”

For example, Jerald, when was the last time you and Susan spent time talking or cuddling? Susan told me that you were romantic when you were dating but stopped after you were married. Keeping the romance alive is very important to most women. Send her flowers and cards, leave her loving notes, hug her when you come home, tell her you love her daily. Ask Susan how her day was, and listen to her. Don’t try to solve her problems, just be supportive and let her know that her feelings are valid even if they are not logical.

Jerald, also be attentive to the children. Spend quality time with them, and be playful and loving. Let them know how much you care and appreciate them for who they are. Tell them to be their unique selves. Take the time to tuck them into bed and kiss them good-night.

You see, Jerald, you can’t buy love. You have generously given them your money but what they want and need even more than that is you. What makes a difference in their lives is the quality of love they feel from you. That takes your time, your attention, and your willingness to express your feelings.”

Jerald looked perplexed. He did not realize that he was making the biggest mistake men make in relationships. He did not realize that he wasn’t giving himself. From Jerald’s left brain (logical) perspective, he was doing everything right. It’s true that he wasn’t doing anything wrong. It was just that Jerald was missing a big piece of the puzzle.

To help Jerald really understand what I was expressing to him, I asked him to close his eyes and to imagine that his parents and he and Susan were standing in front of him. Jerald noticed the similarities in the two relationships, and the same problems. He realized that he had learned from his father how to be a husband, who had learned from his father and down through the generations. Unfortunately, Jerald had no feeling male models. Even his grandfather was always busy making a living, and rarely spent time with the family.

In the process, Jerald realized how much he missed feeling his grandfather’s and father’s love when he was growing up, and how much he needed it. Jerald also noticed that he never saw his father being affectionate and loving to his mother. He had no role model of how to express love to his wife and children.

Jerald continued to work with me and succeeded in healing his inner child and learning more loving ways to be and to communicate with his family. Susan also did the same. Jerald and Susan are now in a loving relationship with each other and the children. They were amazed how well the children responded to the expression of caring to each other and to them. The children started to do better in school and there were a lot less fights. In fact, Susan and Jerald pride themselves as a happy loving family.

With a little practice, perseverance and patience, I believe that your relationship could be enhanced with the tips that I have shared if you have faced any problems with your loved one. I have a strong belief that if you understand what I have explained and shared in this piece of article, then the problems could be minimised and your relationship could become more stable and stronger. I wish all the best in your relationship with your partner. Do remember to support the decision of having making up than breaking up.

Indeed, life is short. Don’t let another day go by without taking a chance on happiness. You will never know until you try, so remember to make a move today. It can change or affect the rest of your life, therefore, at the very least, you can try to come out something for your ex love partner during your weekend plans. With a little practice, perseverance and patience, I believe that your relationship could be enhanced with the tips that I have shared earlier. If you have faced any problems with your loved ones, do not hesitate to visit this piece of article again.

I really have a strong belief that if you can understand what I have explained and applied what you have learnt from this piece of article, your problems can be eventually solved and your making up relationship can become more stable and stronger. I wish all the best for your making up relationship with your partner. Do always remember to spread word of mouth to your fellow friends for supporting the decision of having making up than breaking up.

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You will also learn how to reverse the situation if you have already done those things that should NEVER be done.